


A Reason To Fight

by Draycarla



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Arguing, Drinking, Fix-It, M/M, Mild Threat, Not Epilogue Compliant, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, Rimming, Switching, Therapy, does follow s8 general plot but with obvs modifications, main SK the others are hinted at/minor to plot, ocs are very minor so dw about them, of sorts anyway, some physical violence directed at walls and such, theres a lot of these on and off
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 05:00:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17318552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Draycarla/pseuds/Draycarla
Summary: After bailing on Keith too many times, Keith tries to confront Shiro. So caught up in his work and new position, trying to process the aftermath of Sendak's death, his time in the Black Lion, his own feelings, as well as symptoms of his PTSD starting to come through the cracks, Shiro pushes back against Keith with damaging results for their friendship. Can they fix it before it becomes irreparable, or has it ran its course?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Late to the party of fix-it fics, and something I wanted to write now before I finish off the next chapter of The Accidental Emperor (which is almost done if you guys read it, if not, you totally should), I wanted to focus on Shiro and his PTSD and in a way use it as a way to "explain" the lack of talking and decent scenes between the two in s8, which hurt because ship or not, their friendship has been a major thing I love about VLD.
> 
> I spent a bit of time reading about the negative effects that PTSD has on peoples lives, and do hope I've done some justice. The treatment I mention, EMDR, is something I know is used to assist those who are receiving help for their PTSD when it gets too much (I used to look after the late clinic in an old job of mine and chatted with clients).
> 
> This fic is a lot longer than what I planned, so I'm splitting it into two chapters. Scenes, I suppose, come in the order we get general Shiro/Keith moments in the shows bar perhaps one or two which is to fill the space between and not make this fic completely crap.
> 
> Either way I hope you do enjoy this, and thank you for taking the time to read.

_Hey? Still meeting today?_  
_Message sent Friday 26th at 07:33am_

Keith exhaled loudly as he rolled over. Read again, but no reply. He scrolled up through the others he'd sent, all read, but nothing. Shiro had taken to hiding his online status, which was almost as frustrating as finding him anywhere in person over the past few weeks. It wasn't that Keith didn't understand; since recovering from their fight with that strange mech, helping Earth rebuild, and doing drills with the other Paladins, he had been a bit caught up himself, and creating an even stronger link with their Lions had meant they were spending a lot of time in mental communication. He also understood Shiro, being the only person who could transform the Atlas or so much as do anything with it, had to spend a lot of time there while they fixed the ship and prepared for heading back into space. He was in countless meetings that went on for hours either with members of the Garrison, what remained of Earth's governments, and members of the Coalition. Knowing Shiro, he would be throwing himself into his work, but.. _.“C'mon guys, let's take a break and try and figure this out.”_ He gave the best advice but was the worst at following it himself. Any time they had struggled with Voltron, Shiro would collect them all up and made sure they all rested. Keith threw his communicator to the bed and sat up, running his hand through his hair. He didn't want to do it, but at this point he was getting near the end of his tether. Cosmo whined as he yawned, blinking slowly as Keith rose.

 

It was a Sunday, and if Keith's intel was correct, Shiro would be finishing up at the gym within the next thirty minutes. He patted his leg, and Cosmo stood up and stretched out, making another little whine as he padded over to Keith's side and nuzzled against his waist. He buried a hand in the mass of blue fur, giving the wolf a firm pet. “At least we'll get a good walk if all else fails.” Cosmo's tail wagged as he bounced towards the door, grabbing a large stick he'd picked up somewhere from his teleporting travels, most likely. Keith chuckled to himself as he pulled his jacket on and pushed the key card into his pocket.

 

Keith sat atop some crates near the barracks Shiro lived in, throwing Cosmo's stick as far as he could and watching the blue glow of his fur blur as he chased it. It was nice that Shiro went so late in the evening, since it meant there was barely anyone around, and even then it was just a casual hello. Cosmo teleported next to Keith, dropping the stick into his lap and looking expectantly at his owner. Keith obliged and watched as Cosmo snapped his jaws and flew after the now, wet and chewed piece of wood.

 

“Late night walk?” Keith looked down to see Iverson walking towards him, gym bag in hand. _Where's Shiro?_  
“Yeah. Needed the air and he wanted to play.” Keith grinned as he slid himself down and walked over. Iverson nodded, and smiled as Cosmo came and greeted him. “You're as bad at sleeping as Shiro is.” He said as he scratched behind Cosmo's ears. “I told him to finish up and rest, but he's been sat in his office working for hours. He's getting stressed out, but fuck will he listen to me,” he sighed as he stood full height, staring up at the sky. “I reckon it's a mix of things, but he's harder to crack these days and I'm at a loss. I'll give the man his space, but whether or not you can set him straight I don't know.” He sighed as he rubbed his chin. “I mean, I don't want to pass the buck to you, but it seems like you're closer after being up there for so long.” Iverson bit his lip, running his hand through Cosmo's thick pelt. Keith paused before looking solemnly to his former commander. “I'll try my best. Do you mind keeping an eye on Cosmo for me?” Iverson chuckled, “I won't lie to you, since you've had him on site, I've brought more treats for this occasion. I don't get to dog-sit Bae Bae now the kids are back. That and Colleen says I'm making him fat. Can you believe that?” The two laughed heartily. He wiped his eyes, enjoying the warm feeling in his stomach that he'd not realised he'd been missing. “Good luck,” Iverson patted Keith's shoulder as he left with Cosmo, who seemed rather pleased at the prospect of treats.

-

Shiro sat hunched over his desk, rubbing his eyes as he blindly groped for his coffee with the Altean hand. The report about health and safety aboard the Atlas during its transformation state was rushed and difficult to follow. He was certain he had read the same appendix three times by this point. To his left sat a notebook full of scribbled notes and bullet points that no one but him would be able to understand. Maybe Pidge, but she wouldn't see this anyway. He leaned back, groaning loudly when he realised his coffee was gone. He swore under his breath as he grabbed the tablet and headed for the small kitchen just down the hall. Upon entering the hallway, he almost walked right into Keith.

 

“Shit, Keith!” He stumbled backwards into his office, clutching the tablet to his chest but dropping his mug. They both stared at it, Shiro huffing in frustration as he moved around Keith and towards the kitchen. After a few seconds, he heard footsteps pace after him. He narrowed his eyes, trying to keep himself tempered. Any other time it would be great to see him, but lately he'd had a lot to focus on with the war effort. There was no time for this.

 

“Sorry. I've got a lot on,” he waved his tablet behind him, before setting it down on the counter and grabbing a new mug. “Is everything okay with Voltron?” He pressed the button on the coffee maker and turned to Keith, who hung in the doorway, light obscuring his face. “I can see. Voltron's fine, and I've not got any news which is probably a good thing right now. Outside of what we'd planned.” Keith's gaze flicked over his friend. There were dark circles under his eyes and he looked gaunt. His hair was dishevelled, and sporting uneven stubble. He resisted the urge to throw the tablet out the window and drag Shiro back to his room to get some well deserved rest, possibly knock him out, but that might need to be a last resort. “You look awful, you need a break.” Keith paced slowly forward.  
“I'm fine. Just a bit tired. What do you...we were meant to meet?”  
“When was the last time you slept?”  
“Keith, really? Don't worry about me. I slept alright last night, but-”  
“You were on the Atlas last night, remember?” I saw you heading out when I was walking Cosmo this morning at 5am or something.” Keith perched on the small table, pulling the tablet from the counter and skimming the document Shiro was reading. He was hesitant to answer Shiro about their meeting, it could be done another day.

 

Shiro snorted, taking a sip of his coffee. “I'm fine. I don't need you to worry about me; you've done enough of that and look where it's got you.” Keith blinked. He placed the tablet down and rose from his perch. “What do you mean by that?” He moved in front of Shiro, folding his arms across his chest. “You know I worry about you – I'd do anything for you.” His gaze softened and let his arms drop. “C'mon, you need to rest up. That can wait 'til morning.” He reached out towards Shiro's hand, but he pulled away sharply.

 

“It can't wait! Why can no one _fucking_ understand that I'm fine and need to focus? I've got so much...shit going on right now and don't need constant pestering about my welfare every five-fucking-minutes. The Galra threat is still real, and we don't know where that mech and Altean came from, we don't know where that witch is, and there's still so much to sort out before we go back to space not only with the Atlas but on Earth. Just...go home, Keith. I have work to do.” Shiro's eyes flashed dangerously as he moved past Keith, a terrible tenseness radiating from him as he shoved the door open and stormed through.

 

Keith stood statue-still as he processed Shiro's words. He gritted his teeth tighter together and clenched his fists so tightly the nails pierced the skin. He turned on his heel and stormed down the corridor after him, trying to keep his temper restrained. “What the fuck?” Keith bit as he stood in Shiro's doorway, eyes quickly surveying the mess that would put Pidge's room to shame.   
“Keith get the fuck out of my office.”  
“No, Shiro, I'm not getting the fuck out. I get you're stressed but there's no reason to snap at me like that. Do you even realise how many people have been worried about you?-”  
“Well that's fucking perfect-”  
“Stop trying to carry all the burden yourself! Sam, Iverson, Allura, and the others want to help too! I want to help you! You always used to say it was unhealthy to carry everything yourself, and a great leader has to trust their team and work together when it gets tough. Just let us in, we hate seeing you like this.”  
“What do you even think you'll understand? Do you think you can process this fiscal report by tomorrow?” Shiro picked up the folder and threw it back on the table, his gaze steely. “What about this risk assessment that needed signing off last week? Or going through these personnel files of people cleared to be on the Atlas? Oh, and you need to know the ins and outs of it for meetings. You think Lance will be able to handle any of this? You think you can handle all that information easily? Answer me.” He slammed his fist on top of the pile of reports, his face a bit too similar to that fight. Keith swallowed, trying to keep his own emotions level before he snapped. This wasn't what he wanted, this wasn't the patient and selfless Shiro he knew.

 

Keith walked over to Shiro's desk, sliding a folder towards him. His brow creased as he read the front page, then skimmed the contents. Shiro was glaring hard at him, and Keith could finally see how bloodshot they really were. One was twitching very slightly. Keith exhaled, and leaned down towards Shiro, placing his hands flat on the desk. “If it means staying by your side through the night, I'll do it for you. I may not know much about this,” he nodded to the report he'd picked up, “but I won't give up.” He managed a small smile, hoping that the cold look in Shiro's eyes would leave for those warm gazes and soft smiles.

 

Shiro made a derisive snort, and turned away. “You won't give up.” He looked down at the floor, then sideways at Keith, “in the same way you didn't give up and abandoned the team for the Blades of Marmora? All because you didn't want to lead? I was in Black, Keith, I could _hear_ you, sense all of your reservations. I put faith in you and then you abandoned it as soon as the clone turned up-”  
“How the FUCK was I supposed to know it was a clone, Shiro? How can you even say all this after it happened ages ago? I wasn't ready, and you ignored my reservations just to put me in a position I didn't want!” Keith spat, his pupils narrowed and the sclera flashed yellow. “If you're going to say it like that,” Keith's nails dug into the wood, “then what about all the times I've saved you? Protected you? I've killed for you!” Keith's spit hit the side of Shiro's cheek, he rose, Altean arm clenched into a tight fist. “I never asked you to. So in answer to your earlier question,” Shiro's voice was hollow, “all worrying about me has done for you is endanger you, and turn you into a murderer, just like me. Now get out of my office, or I'll give you a matching scar on your other cheek.” Shiro had moved round the desk and squared up to Keith, who glowered up at him. Keith snarled, instinctually reaching for his knife, all the while keeping his eyes locked with Shiro's.

 

“Raise that knife at me and you'll regret it.” Shiro hissed, moving himself forward. Keith swore, before turning his back. “Get some fucking sleep, Shiro.” He smashed his fist against the panel, and the door swished open. As Keith stalked away, he heard a large bang behind him, like something had been thrown or fallen over. He felt his eyes become hot and his chest tighten. He left for Iverson's.

-

Shiro sat on the floor of his office, desk upturned and a hole in the side of the wall. He ran his hand through his hair and shook his head. “Fuck, fuck, fuck! Why are you so fucking stupid?” He flopped to his side, his gaze glossing over all the paperwork that lay scattered on the floor. He felt something warm run down his cheek and over the bridge of his nose. He sniffled, bringing his hands to his face to hide from the light of the room. Everything was too bright. He closed his eyes, but he couldn't keep them closed for long. _“Victory or death.” Sendak's disgusting face, that voice. Laughing. Breaking his skin, his bones, his soul. Being forced to-_ Shiro screamed, clutching at his chest and backed himself into the 'shelter' of the upturned desk. “It's...over.” His voice cracked as he repeated it over and over, the light going off due to no movement.

 

***

 

“So, are you and your mom gonna spend time together today?”  
“Nah, her and Kolivan are checking the last base Sendak put up for any information. You?”  
“Well, I got Lance to finally ask Allura on a date! Apart from that, I'm gonna spend time with my mom, bake some food for the journey. I might go visit Sal, I got these great recipes planned out and I think you'll love them! You can come with if you want, or oh! You must have something lined up with Shiro by now. I mean, man, it's just so weird not seeing him so much lately. He looks tired a lot...or is that me? Maybe I should make him some soup?” Hunk stopped as he noticed Keith looking away, a small frown on his face.  
“Ah sorry Keith. Is it...?”  
“He's busy. There's a few things he needs to sort before we leave tomorrow. I'm probably going to go out to my old place.” Keith smiled, patting Hunk on the shoulder. “You should try and see Shay as well.” He grinned, and Hunk blushed, rubbing the back of his head. “Well I'm hoping she and her family are gonna visit. It'll be nice, ya know?” The two chuckled and said their goodbyes.

 

Keith made his way to Black, and nodded at Cosmo who was sat in front of her. He felt something vibrate in his pocket and pulled out the communicator. There was a message from Shiro. Several. He scanned them before shoving it back in his pocket. He still refused to message back out of principle. If Shiro was actually sorry he should approach him, not hide behind messages. Cosmo whined as he teleported the two into the cockpit, and Black fired up. Her deep rumble soothed Keith.  
  


Shiro watched from the bridge as Black flew past. He checked his phone. His messages had been read. He winced at the knotting pain in his stomach, but pushed it aside as Iverson confirmed weapons systems were running smoothly. “That's great. We're almost ready to leave.”  
“Shiro.”  
“Yeah?”  
“Remember your appointment. You should probably head off for it.”  
“Ah, yeah.” Shiro stared at his hands, before nodding slowly. “I'll see you in two hours.” Shiro took leave from the bridge, exhaling loudly.

 

Since that Sunday, and being found early the next morning by the cleaning staff. Sam and Iverson had taken him along to the Garrison's medical wing, and the clinician had booked him in to see a psychotherapist for some different therapies. He wasn't impressed, but it was mandatory after he'd trashed his office. He'd have been suspended if they weren't going to space and anyone else could make the Atlas transform. Sam had been the one to coax him into it, and in hindsight, at least it was him. He took a deep breath and walked into the small reception area. “Hey. Takashi Shirogane, again.”  
“Hello, Mister Shirogane. You look a little less tired. Sleeping better?” The receptionist smiled as she handed Shiro the small tablet from the drawer in her desk. “Kinda. I'm not drinking as much coffee. Did you manage to get my old notes back?”  
“Sadly not all of them. There was some odd ones saved on your old file but even then it's a bit corrupted.” She took the tablet back from Shiro, and motioned to the small kettle near her desk. “Got a tea ready for you like normal, want one?” Shiro smiled and nodded, watching her brew the kettle again and settling down in one of the plush chairs. Maybe it wasn't _that bad_ , at times.

 

***

 

 _Are you free to meet in the hangar with the lions? Hoping to talk_  
Keith sat back on his bed, rereading the message again to make sure it was true. It'd been maybe three weeks' since they launched into space, and in that time this was the first message Shiro had sent him. In the back of Keith's mind, petty as it was, he felt a bit smug being the one in control of the conversation.  
_Free in 30_  
Concise enough.  
_Great – thanks x_  
Keith paused, wondering if he should reply or not, but erring with not.  
  


Keith sauntered out of the elevator, hands in his trouser pockets, as he headed over towards Black. It made sense to always meet at Black's side, since they both were granted her permission to pilot her. Shiro was there already, dressed casually and looking at his wrist every few seconds, until he realised Keith was approaching. He jogged over, pausing as he went to reach out to Keith and quickly pulling back his hand. Keith watched him stony faced. “I'm not in the mood for touching today, so good call.” His voice was dry as he watched Shiro carefully. “Did you want to go inside Black to chat like normal, or stay out here?”  
“Can we have some privacy?”  
“So long as you don't threaten me again, sure.”  
“I-I''m sorry,” Shiro's voice was like the clone's after he'd cut his arm off; small and meek. Keith clenched his jaw tighter, and motioned for Shiro to take the lead as Black lowered herself down.

 

“What did you wanna talk about, then?” Keith flopped himself down in the pilots seat while Shiro stood awkwardly at his side. He may have piloted the Black Lion, gained her trust, broken Zarkon's hold, and even been stuck in the astral plain, but for the first time ever he felt physically uncomfortable in the cockpit. His skin felt itchy; like there were fire ants crawling and stinging him underneath the surface. He scratched absently at his forearm as he spoke, “I...needed to...apologise for what I said – what I did and how I acted. I hurt you deeply, I know. I shouldn't have yelled, taken care of myself better so you wouldn't worry. I-I just...I'm not trying to make excuses, don't think that, please, but there was a lot going on,” he paused, looking away from Keith and digging his nails in harder to his reddening skin. “Nightmares...about Sendak, what happened with the Galra, dying and trying to stay myself in that void, feeling your pain from being in here and,” his voice cracked and he looked at the floor, “your scar. This body – I – did that. I just...I've tried to be distant, before we left, because what if I hurt you again? What if the witch still has a hold on me? I don't want to hurt you again.” He turned and made for the exit, “I shouldn't have come. I'm nothing but a monster.”

 

Keith leapt up from his seat and followed as fast as he could behind, grabbing Shiro's shoulder, “wait, Shiro!” He yanked him around and spun him into the wall, hands either side of his wide chest. Keith swallowed as he gently raised a hand and cupped Shiro's jaw, moving his head so they were looking at each other. “Shiro. Thank you.” Keith rubbed the skin slowly, feeling the slightest prickle of stubble against his thumb as he levelled off his breathing and let his body soften. Shiro opened his mouth, then closed it again. His eyes were wide and twitchy and there were a few beads of sweat on his forehead. Keith went to pull his hand away, but Shiro grabbed it possessively. With his Altean hand, he wrapped it around Keith's waist and embraced him tightly.

 

Shiro buried his face in Keiths thick hair, taking in the strong scent of aloe vera and mint. He clenched his jaw as he felt his heart beat rise and his stomach twist itself up in joy and fear. He choked out a sob and gripped harder, Keith's feet now ghosting the floor. Shiro finally set Keith down gently. “Thanks. Can we...try do this again?” His wistful expression made something in Keith want to say everything was forgiven, and to just kiss this ridiculous man in front of him, probably do more considering his latest dreams. “We can. Just message me, okay? This blanking has been hard...I get why but we're stronger than this, alright?” Keith gave Shiro a light nudge, making the older chuckle. “I'll try.”  
“Shiro?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Promise me you'll be honest? It hurts you feel you can't.” Shiro's body stiffened, but he nodded in agreement.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realise I should have split this better but never mind. I think I enjoy writing a jealous Keith and drunk Shiro respectively.
> 
> I have a few headcanons built on observations of 20-something military lads considering where I live in the UK, as well as 20-something lads in general, and in that sense I really think Shiro would be a drinker and an awful drunk. I think Keith is on the cusp of the US drinking age but to be honest hes legal in my country so I'm rolling with that. If he was 16? I'd tag it as underage drinking. Much like I won't be tagging about the 'lost your virginity at 16' thing. There's no details, it's a comment made which may or may not be in jest, and it's in the notes. If you don't read it, that's your choice.

“Leave me alone!” Keith hammered the button for the elevator doors to close quickly. He didn't want to hear this. It was a fucking joke. “Let me explain!”  
“Your actions explained everything. Just get out of my sight.” The door closed and Keith fell back against the thick glass. He sunk to the floor, gulping in the air, but also trying to calm himself. He'd almost died. He'd almost died and Shiro just stood there. If it hadn't of been for Veronica, he'd have burned alive or been shot. Axca had tried to explain it was a way to draw her attention, make Zethrid think she had power, but it sounded like bullshit and he was done with both of them. He stormed into his room, setting the door to lock from the inside. He threw himself on the bed and curled up, hands tangled in his hair. He pulled it and screwed his eyes shut, shouting out his frustration.

-

“It's not been a good day, has it?”  
“No. I think I've ruined something.”  
“Is this to do with Keith?”  
“Yes.” Shiro leaned forward, dropping his head down to stare at the black carpet. “I froze up.”  
“In what way?”  
“I...couldn't save him. He was there. She had a gun pointed at Axca but...I just...couldn't. Kiara, I thought this would help? Why couldn't I do anything?!” Shiro glared at Kiara, who sat in her chair, mug of tea in her hands. She observed him for a few seconds. “We've discussed how the treatment works several times now. I know you hate the feeling of vulnerability, but we've only had six sessions. We've still another ten scheduled for initial treatment, and that's dependant on what we discuss and you open up about.” She pushed his mug towards him. “You need to understand that the trauma will take time to get through, perhaps years. What you've been through is terrible, but you have amazing internal strength to keep going and you should try and feel proud of yourself you've kept going.”  
“I don't know why. I've already had enough struggles.”  
“I know. Your illness, I believe is gone now?”  
“Yeah.”  
“How does it make you feel?” Kiara watched as Shiro looked at his Altean arm, the original limb being the source of the illness that would have killed him in time. He clicked his tongue. “I don't know. It was there for so long I just got used to it, made the best of what I could do. I should probably be happy.”  
“Why happy?”  
“It's gone. I'm going to live. It's what I wanted after all, what I fought for in the arena for so long, what I've done. But I just...it's invasive.”  
“You were not consenting.”  
“Yeah. I mean I wished for it, sure, but I never...what they used my cells for...they _cloned_ me.” Shiro scratched at his arm, Kiara coughing purposefully, and he quickly stopped. “I know I shouldn't.”

 

“Your fear of death is something I think we need to talk about, but next session will be better since you're not in the mood today," she watched Shiro nod 'no'. "In the interim, I would advise that you let Keith have his space. From what you've told me about him over the past sessions, I was surprised of his reaction. I know you care about him, but I will suggest you keep a professional demeanour for the time being. Give him time.” Kiara smiled softly. “Whether you listen is up to you, but you need to focus on your mental health. Now, let's start the next half of this session. Another tea?”

Shiro laughed softly. “Sure. I guess.”

 

***

 

It had been a long time since Shiro had done something like this. On Kiara's suggestion, he'd decided today he would actually allow himself time to relax. Curtis, a guy who worked on the bridge and he'd vaguely remembered was Adam's first dorm buddy, had also come to find him. They'd chatted between the matches, and it had been a nice change of pace from focusing on the Galra for a while. He'd found out that an old friend had retired while he was in space, and his original recruiter had sadly passed during the year he was away from Earth due to prostate cancer. Shiro's uncle had passed away from it a decade ago, and it was at that point he had started to take checks seriously.

 

The others had come along to cheer him on in his last match, and seeing Keith and Hunk together made Shiro smile a bit to himself. It was...nice to see him spending time with the others. His and Lance's relationship had gotten better, which was great to see. He was proud of Keith. It was just a shame he didn't want anything to do with him. Keith was still sore, rightly so, a month on since the incident with Zethrid. Shiro had broken first, going down to his room. He'd been surprised to see James leaving Keith's room looking dishevelled, and Shiro had to restrain himself pulling rank to find out what exactly James had been doing.

 

“What's up, Captain?”  
“Ah, Shiro, remember?”  
“Hehe, it's just funny to see you get flustered, _Captain Shirogane_ ,” Curtis elbowed him in the ribs, and Shiro swatted him with a laugh as they made their way back to the ships to get back to the Atlas that had remained in orbit. “Just thinking about something stupid, that's all.”  
“Well nothing's stupid. What's up? Arm's bluetooth fucked?”  
“My arm doesn't have bluetooth, or any of that ancient tech!” Shiro grinned at Curtis, who snorted in response. “Nah just Keith.”  
“Ah right.” Curtis paused. Shiro spoke about him a lot, and he wasn't certain on their relationship. His captain was cagey about a lot of things, but Keith was the only person he spoke much about outside of the other Paladins. “What about him?” Curtis put his hands in his pockets, watching Shiro intently. “He's just...upset still. I don't know what else to do.” He looked wistfully at the Black Lion, sat idly waiting for Keith to return. “Maybe...give it more time? I don't know what's gone on with you guys, but I tend to let people come to me, you know?” Curtis shrugged his shoulders and turned to stretch out his legs. About twenty feet in front of him he saw Keith, a look of pure disgust on his face as he looked between Shiro and Curtis. Curtis narrowed his eyes. What was this kid's problem?

 

“Curtis? What's wrong?” Curtis blinked away from Keith's gaze to look at Shiro, his lips parted slightly and his brow wrinkled with worry. “N-nothing. Just stiffness since I'm sat down all day usually.” Curtis laughed, patting Shiro's shoulder. He side-eyed Keith, who was gone. Even though the night was cool, the air around Curtis felt like ice.

 

***

 

Keith thought he wouldn't be the one to break, but he was clearly a masochist. He stood in front of Shiro's quarters. He'd been there for about ten minutes, and wasn't sure if he should bother. No. He needed to do this. He needed answers. The others had noticed he seemed more snappy lately, and he couldn't let the team down again. He knocked on the door.

 

For what felt like ten more minutes, there was no sound. That was until the door opened to reveal Shiro in a tank top and boxers, bottle of something in his hand. He stared at Keith, but it felt like he was staring through him, before he blinked himself back to this reality. “K-Keef. Whatterya doin' 'ere?” He tried to lean against the door frame but stumbled to the side. Keith instinctively went to catch him, his nose catching the pungent smell of whiskey. “I wanted to talk. I'll come back another time since you seem busy.”  
“Nah-ah, c'min Keef. Drink?” Shiro pulled Keith with him inside, using him as a crutch towards the sofa before sinking down. Keith smoothed his uniform as he looked around. He knew Shiro drank sometimes, but his room was full of empty bottles of different alien drinks. He plucked the bottle from Shiro's hand, it looked like nunvil. “What's the occasion?” Keith hovered by the table, placing the bottle down. “Jus' drinkin'. 'ored...werk.” He belched and giggled to himself as he flopped into the plush seat. “Stuff realsy. I thought ya 'ated me an' was dickin' Griff- Giff- James.” Shiro waved his hand as he tried to stare at Keith.

 

Keith blinked, trying to take in Shiro. This was...this was, again, not him. He shook his head and sighed. “You're a fucking mess. Before you go asking about me and James, you and that guy? I could say you're close. Are you 'dicking'?” Keith folded his arms across his chest. After recent events in the astral plane and Honerva's memories, he wasn't in the mood. Shiro could only talk to him professionally, and James had Veronica relaying some questionable information back to him about things happening on the bridge. Not that Keith hadn't noticed them hanging around together at the gym more frequently, watching Shiro stand behind that guy and 'helping' him lift weights better. He didn't get why he cared so much, but he did.

 

“Jealous?” Shiro pulled himself to sit upright. “S'not like ya care, izzit? Fuckin' jus' forgot the mental shit.” He poked himself in the side of the head, flinging his arms up dramatically. Keith stormed forward and before he realised, punched him square across the cheek. He grabbed the surprised Shiro by the front of his shirt, and leaned in close until the smell of alcohol was strong and he could feel the shaky breath on his face. “I don't care? I _don't fucking care?_ All I have done for years is care about you! I never believed you died on Kerberos when everyone, even Adam, thought you were dead! I've killed for you, protected you, searched for you, saved you...what do you want from me, Shiro? What more can I give you? Tell me!” His spit sprayed against Shiro's cheeks, his eyes stinging as they held back hot tears of rage. He didn't understand what was happening, and he wasn't sure Shiro did either as he just stared back at Keith, slowly blinking as he rubbed his red cheek. Keith loosened his grip, and dropped to his knees in front of Shiro. This was utterly pointless. The damage was done. What use was there of trying to repair this relationship any more, really?

 

“Keef.”  
Keith studied his fists.  
“Keef!” Shiro took Keith's hand. Keith slowly looked up at Shiro, leaning over on the sofa, and pulled him to his feet. “Miss you.” Shiro pulled him in for a deep hug. Something they hadn't done in a long time. Keith could feel how clammy his body was. He winced internally. He needed to leave Shiro alone, let him sober out and come back, but he also needed this right now. Keith laced an arm around Shiro's waist and another around his neck, in part to steady him, and in part for the closeness. Shiro leaned closer, wobbling a bit, before finding some better footing. “Miss talkin'...hugs...jokin' with you. Fucked up. Bad.” He squeezed Keith harder. “Therapy's hard an' they say I gotta...gotta...shit.” Shiro toppled back into the sofa, bringing Keith down with him. Keith landed on top of Shiro, eyes getting a view of the scarred chest beneath his shirt. “You're...having therapy? When did it start?”  
“Ageeeees ago,” Shiro rolled his head to the side.  
“How long?”  
“Loadsa months. Before leavin'?”  
“After the first fight?”  
“...think...s-so? Saaam an' Iversson made me go. Tossed a desk.” He seemed pleased as his head lolled backwards, giggling to himself. Keith tried to pull back up, but Shiro tightened his grip. “Shit about bein' serper-souperier? Superior officer. It's a loada crap and they like, said I'd be sacked? 'Cause of the desk, Keef. Ahh yeah made a hole in my wall. Not the desk, my hand.” He waved his Altean hand at Keith and flexed the fingers.

 

Keith wasn't sure how he hadn't just shutdown from all this. There was a lot to process, not just the drunk ramblings, but all these emotions he had coiling in his stomach. He tried to pull back and this time Shiro released him. “I might take you up on a drink. Is that nunvil?” Keith pointed to a bottle by the sofa. “Uhh?” He shrugged, before pointing to the bottle on the table. “Whiskey. Good. Drink tha',” he felt for his drink, finding it with the Altean hand and snuggled deeper into the sofa.

 

“Imma fuckin' prick."  
“Why?”  
“'ccusin' ya? 'bout James. Not seein' Curtis – tha' guy – he's nice an' all but friends.” Shiro managed to hold a steady gaze with Keith. “Jus' real fucked up righ' now. Sound fuckin' rediculous too like that...you remember? British squad...wait no, you were like sexteen- shit shit SIXTEEN.” Shiro snorted but buried his face in his shoulder, repeating sorry over and over. A tiny smile tugged at Keith's lips, “wasn't that when you lost your virginity?”  
“No! I was a _real_ good boy.” Shiro picked his head up, showing off a very toothy grin. Keith chuckled, poking Shiro's knee with his foot. “The stories Adam told me about you being hammered are true. You're a wreck.”  
“He was worser.”  
“You're getting there. Last one, then water.”  
“How many times are you gonna look after me?” Shiro gazed at Keith. Keith paused, and fidgeting with his hair. “As many times as it takes.”

 

Carrying Shiro to bed felt harder than fighting through the other Blades all those years ago. They'd laughed a lot at stupid in-jokes, Shiro mispronouncing a few words again, and he'd try to get more answers out of him regarding this therapy. He was in the mindset to pull Iverson and Holt up about this, but he'd need more information first before he went in. Shiro had got more fidgety as the time went on, fiddling with his hands and playing with his hair. He'd thrown his shirt off at one point complaining he was too hot, and Keith had to get himself some water to cool off. “So, here you are, bed.” Keith slowly lowered Shiro down to the mattress, and let go of him so he could roll over on top of the fabric, his boxers following the curves of his skin until he came to a stop on the right-hand side, smiling over at Keith. “C'mere,” he patted the duvet. Keith blinked. “It's a bit forward, Shiro.”  
“Mmm. Not that. Hug, please?” Shiro watched as Keith perched lightly on the side of his bed, body tense and alert. He didn't need to be, it was just them. He pulled Keith by the shoulder down with his Altean arm, possibly the best thing that he'd ever had in his life, and pulled Keith up against his chest, humming into his hair. “Comfy. All warm an' I just wan'his.” Keith blinked into the hard chest in front of him; he'd thought about this before, how much he had wanted this touch. He felt strong arms lace behind his back and slowly, he pushed an arm under Shiro's body, pulling him closer so their bodies lay flush together.

 

Keith was starting to get uncomfortable in his uniform; he could feel beads of sweat in his armpits and along his back, and a tightness knotting in his groin. Shiro's gentle breathing was soothing, but something was stirring and he was getting agitated. “Can I just,” he pulled his arm back and rolled over onto his back, unfastening his jacket. Shiro stirred and watched him through heavy-lidded eyes. “We gettin' naked? 'Kay.” He reached for his boxers, but Keith grabbed his wrist and nodded his head sharply. “No. Hug, remember?”  
“Sorry, sorryy,” Shiro waited for Keith to dump his jacket beside him, and nestled back into their embrace. “I didn't want-”  
“Even so, just try and sleep. You've drank a lot.” Keith rubbed his shoulder slowly and Shiro relaxed again, eyes straining to stay open.  
“Please stay.”  
“I will.”

 

***

 

“I thought I'd find you here.”

Shiro looked up to see Curtis pull up a barstool. They'd returned to Earth after everything that had happened. Coran had been inconsolable since Allura died...left...they weren't really sure, but it was like she had died. Shiro had made sure everyone had access to counselling sessions if they needed it, and had booked extra sessions since waking up with a terrible hangover and Keith in his room. He had swore nothing had happened, but Shiro was worried he was just saying that to protect him. He nodded curtly as Curtis finished ordering a drink. “I just needed some time to think. Surprised you found me.”  
“Well, it's not hard when this is the closest bar to the Garrison. Want me to leave?”  
“No. Company's better than loneliness right now...thanks, by the way,” Shiro raised his glass, smiling, and Curtis mirrored him. “To Allura,” they said in unison.

-

 

Keith paced around the Garrison compound in the cool night. There was a light wind carrying earthy scents and rocket fuel from the shuttle ships. He watched one ascend, and gazed over to where Black sat with the others. Blue had followed Lance, which had reduced the guy to tears. It was good he'd gone home to be with his family; something that had to wait for Keith as Krolia and Kolivan were en route. He'd tried to message Shiro again, but it seemed his communicator was off.

 

_Shiro placed a keycard into Keith's hand. “If you ever want to just come and talk or hang out, especially since we'll be home for a while, just let yourself in, you're always welcome.” Keith smiled and nodded, taking the card and placing it safely in his pocket._

 

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, quickly finding the card. He might as well go to Shiro's for a bit, Cosmo was off somewhere doing whatever he does. He jogged over to the barracks and headed for Shiro's room. It was late, but he'd would likely be awake at this time watching movies. He stopped outside a door and checked the number. This was it. He could hear muffled noises from inside, so at least he was up. Pressing the card to the reader, the door opened.

 

“K-Keith?!”  
“What the fuck?!”  
Keith stood dead still in the doorway. The room was dimly lit, but there was enough light to see what was in front of him. Shiro was staring up at him from the floor, naked, hair dishevelled, and ass raised. Behind him, hands gripping his hips tightly, was that guy from the bridge: Curtis. “I-It's not-” Whatever Shiro was going to say, Keith didn't want to hear it. He dropped the card and ran as fast as he could. Tears stinging his eyes.

 

***

 

Altea was as beautiful as Allura had described it. Shiro had been initially when they had taken the Alteans from Earth a few weeks after they'd returned, but this was the first time in almost a year he'd returned. He and Hunk had gotten here early to discuss some things with Coran regarding Coalition matters, but Pidge was coming later. According to Hunk, Lance was here already and Keith would be attending soon. Hunk had assured Shiro that Keith would probably be over everything by now, but Shiro wasn't sure he'd be so lucky. Keith had left within a day with Black. He'd heard from Kolivan that he'd met them near Neptune, but aside from that he'd seemed cagey when they spoke. Krolia had been off with him a bit when they'd met back up at a meeting on the Atlas, but eventually returned to her normal self, albeit saying next to nothing about her son. He rubbed his eyes, and made his way to the room he was staying in at the castle. It looked a lot like the Castle of Lions, and he smiled softly to himself.

-

 

“It's quite late, and I've got to get back to Earth at a decent time tomorrow to help Matt and Dad with our project we're working on!”  
“So what is it? You keep going on about it but never say anything,” Lance chuckled as he leaned towards Pidge.  
“Well, once I'm done I'll let you know. For now it's a secret.” She grinned and tapped her nose, before rising from her chair and stretching. “Are you making breakfast tomorrow, Hunk?”  
“Yup! With the juneberries that Lance has brought me-”  
“Which grew great thanks to Kalteneckers-”  
“and this AMAZING fruit we got on planet Nizagla, I think you guys will love it.” Hunk rose from the table and yawned. “Since I gotta get up early and make breakfast, I better hit the hay too. What about you guys?”  
“I'm gonna clear the table and sit at the statue for a while.” Lance looked wistfully up at Allura's statue. Coran nodded, “I'll give you a hand.”  
“I've got some notes to go over for our meeting but may have a walk to clear my head. Keith?” Shiro looked over at Keith, who'd been giving him the odd glare when he spoke about his personal life as the evening had gone on.  
“Probably rest. I need to go early tomorrow like Pidge. We have aid to take to the Malak system.” He rose from his seat and turned. “It's been great seeing you all, and Pidge is right, we should try to hang out more, schedules permitting.” He waved as he left towards the castle, Pidge jogging to catch up with him.

 

Shiro gazed after him, and a firm hand rested on his shoulder. “You should really talk to him. Go on, there's still time. You never know with Keith, he might do something hot-headed and reckless on a mission,” Hunk winked, and Shiro let out a soft chuckle. Bidding goodnight to the others, he made his way to the castle.

 

The soft blue light felt calming as Shiro stood in front of Keith's door. He raised his fist, pausing as it hovered against the smooth metal. _Just do it, Shiro._ He knocked. No answer. He swallowed and knocked again. Another few seconds. No answer.  
“Lost?”  
Shiro turned to see Keith, arms folded several paces away from him. “N-No, I'm just wondering-”  
“Spit it out. Unless you swallow. I don't know.”  
“Keith that's out of line.”  
“As out of line as you ignoring all my feelings and getting fucked by some...guy you barely know?”  
“He's a friend, it was late, and it was sex. I am allowed a life.”  
“You are, and I'm living mine. We done?” Keith pushed past Shiro towards his door. “Or do you have anything more you want to say?” He glared hard at Shiro, who shifted uneasily from foot to foot. Shrugging, he opened the door and stepped inside. He turned to shut it, but a hand grabbed the door. “I do have more. Can I come in?” Keith sighed and let him in. He threw himself into the chair and watched Shiro stand in front of the door. “I'm waiting.” Keith tapped his fingertips against his forearm, eyes glued to Shiro. He thought he was over all of this; he'd had a few flings with some Galra and others whose races he couldn't recall, but nothing had filled the void. He'd still had too many dreams about him, and it was maddening that his feelings wouldn't subside.

 

“I've made you wait for too long.” His voice was quiet. “I told you I could sense your feelings, when I was in the astral plane, and I realised I never addressed it. I owe that to you now. Truth is,” Shiro exhaled and clenched his hands tightly, “I've been...afraid of telling you mine.”  
“Why? Don't tell me, because you see me as a kid, right? Some brat who needs saving and protecting from all the big bad things?”  
“Don't talk about yourself like that!” That touched a nerve. “You're strong – stronger than I ever will be. It's what I admire in you.” He bit his lip. “I'm sorry I forced you into a position you never wanted, and I'm sorry for all the pain you suffered when you were looking for me. Your feelings, when you found...me...it was...” he paused again, screwing his eyes shut, “so full of relief, happiness and love. I never knew until then that's how much you cared, and I felt _wrong_ having access to this intimate knowledge. Then when you almost died saving my clone...when Black grabbed you I could feel the conviction; you'd rather die with me then live without me. That was...so much to process, to know that I mean that much to you, you'd throw your life away; it felt I had accrued too much power over you and it wasn't healthy.” His voice was growing hoarse, and Keith poured him a drink of water, setting it on the table next to him. Shiro hesitated, but approached and gently took the glass.

 

“After Allura put me back in this body, I needed to focus finding a sense of self again. Then the everything with Sendak and the war, the Atlas, that mech, almost dying and you saving me again. I was worried, terrified, of anything happening to you I threw myself into work. I wanted to keep everyone, and especially you, as safe as I could when we went after Honerva. I couldn't let you save me again when it's all you done, and that worry...I couldn't have it happen again. I never wanted to push you away, but I did it through my own fears and insecurities. Hell, I threatened you with another scar. Didn't even think of what I was saying.”  
“You weren't well. I accept that.”  
“It doesn't mean I should have said and done what I did. The therapy's helped me a lot, and it's why I'm even able to talk to you. I've been able to get my head straight; it's given me ideas of what I want to do with my life.” Shiro took another swig of water, and crouched beside the table.

 

“I'm thinking of coming out of the Garrison in a military capacity. I'm looking for a replacement for the Atlas, and want to focus on my work as a representative for Earth on the Coalition Council.”  
“I thought the Garrison was what you cared about the most?” Keith was uncertain why Shiro had moved on to work, nor it's relevance at this point.  
“I do care about it, and will still advise, but there's been some changes I'm finally able to make. The other, and most important, is telling you how I feel.” He stood up and rested his hands on Keith's shoulders, his features as soft as they were years ago. “Keith, you've grown into an amazing man. You have no idea how proud I am of you. You're selfless, focussed, patient, intelligent, but most of all you're the person I care about the most. You've saved me too many times to count, and if you would let me, I want to spend the rest of our lives making you happy. I know,” he saw Keith's mouth about to open, “that I've hurt you and let you down, but if you can let me rebuild that trust, I swear I will never break it again.”

 

Keith stared at Shiro, mouth agape. “S-Shiro.” He whispered, before leaping out of the chair. It fell backwards, making a dull thud, but the noise felt like it was miles away as Keith's mouth connected with Shiro's. He wrapped his arms around him, pressing their bodies together tightly. They pulled away gasping for breath, before crushing their lips together again, Shiro's lips parting for Keith's tongue as it brushed along his bottom lip. Keith raked his hands down Shiro's back, feeling the toned skin beneath and making a small noise in his throat. He pulled away, a small string of saliva connecting them for a few seconds. “Is that a yes?” Shiro grinned, and Keith rolled his eyes. Instead, he grabbed Shiro's wrist and pulled him towards the bed, and dragged him down on top of him. He ran his hand down Shiro's jawline and brushed his thumb over his lips. “If you need a verbal answer, you're as oblivious as I thought.” Shiro laughed softly and planted a soft kiss on Keith's lips.

 

“I'm sorry it's taken me this long to realise.” Shiro ran his hand through Keith's hair, tangling his fingers in its thickness. “Stop apologising. Just...love me.” Keith ruffled the back of Shiro's hair, scratching at his scalp. Shiro moved into the touch, humming in satisfaction. He sat up and unclipped his jacket, tossing it to the side to reveal a tight shirt underneath. Keith shifted, pulling off his jacket and dumping it alongside Shiro's. He ran his hand up the inside of Shiro's shirt, and with his free hand pulled him back down. He bit lightly at Shiro's lips, earning a soft hiss. His mouth parted open again for Keith, who's tongue darted inside. He bucked his hips upwards, and let his hands roam. He pulled up Shiro's shirt, lightly brushing his fingers over his nipples. It earned a small throaty noise and a tiny jump. Keith chuckled into the kiss, before breaking it and pushing Shiro up. He pulled himself up so both sat on their knees. Shiro pulled off his shirt to reveal criss-crosses of scars, some deep and others shallow. Keith bit on his lip, running light fingers over the marks. The soft touch made his lover shudder and gasp.

 

Shiro pulled Keith's shirt up and pushed him down back into the bed, planting trails of kisses and small bites from his collarbone down. Keith moaned and arched his back. He wrapped his legs around Shiro's waist and bucked himself upwards. “Fuck.” He hissed as Shiro gripped him under his back with the Altean hand and traced his hand down his side, still leaving small bites. The temperature difference between it all felt good. He pushed his hand into Shiro's hair, tugging lightly, and threw the other behind his head. He felt Shiro's lips brush against the fabric of his trousers and let out a small whine. “Please, there again.”  
Hesitation.  
Keith cracked open an eye and looked down. Shiro was looking up and him, his brow creased. “W-what?”  
“I've got an idea.” Shiro unbuckled his trousers, and motioned for Keith to do the same. They stripped down completely and Shiro gently pushed Keith onto his back. He brought himself down onto his elbows and rolled Keith to his side. He took Keith's cock in his hand and gave it a sharp pump. Keith groaned, trying to roll onto his back, but Shiro wouldn't allow it. “If you want to do something with your mouth,” he motioned to his own erection near Keith's face, “there's that to keep you entertained.” He grinned at Keith and gave him another quick tug before running his hand down the shaft and placing almost all of it in his mouth at once.

 

Keith groaned louder as Shiro's tongue deftly flicked and lapped against the head, then along the shaft in slow strokes. Keith watched, feeling himself get harder in Shiros mouth and threw an arm over Shiro's hips, he let his head drop to the bed as Shiro picked up the pace, head bobbing back and forth, and hands running along his inner thighs. Keith unconsciously stroked at his skin, and between small moans, turned his attention to Shiro's own erection. Tiny beads of precum spotted around the top, and he slowly brought his left hand up to stroke it. This earned a groan from Shiro, and the vibrations caused Keith to buck his hips. He gave a final groan and grabbed Shiro and dragged his tongue up and over the head. Pushing himself up, he twisted his body so he was laying over Shiro. This way, he could take more of Shiro in his mouth. He lowered his chest and as he did, he let Shiro's cock fill his mouth. He groaned in happiness from the full feeling, and from Shiro's increased fervour as he pulled Keith's hips down and took the entire length in his mouth.

 

“S-Shiro!” Keith panted as he thrust downwards. Shiro chuckled, lightly applying teeth and gripping Keith's hips tightly. “It's...really...good,” Keith started to build up a rhythm, which kept getting thrown at every small grunt from Shiro from his own arousal or satisfaction from making Keith swear and buck his hips in wanton need. Keith tried to pull up, feeling like he was getting close, but let out a sharp whine when cold metal connected with his ass. He pumped Shiro's cock quicker in retaliation, and ran his tongue along the shaft all the way to his balls. Shiro shivered and bucked his hips in response. Keith chuckled and leaned forwards, pulling himself out of Shiro's mouth, as he took Shiro again in his mouth and pumped with one hand. With the other, he massaged Shiro's balls, and ran a wet finger between his legs. That prompted Shiro to jerk upwards, pushing his cock deeper into Keith's mouth. He whimpered, and nipped at Shiro's tip.

 

“If you're going to play unfair,” Shiro muttered hoarsely, “then I will too.” He grabbed a pillow and positioned it behind his head. He pulled Keith's ass down and ran his tongue along the his entrance. Keith moaned loudly, pushing himself forward at first, then back into the touch. He needed that again; the stimulation felt amazing. Shiro didn't need telling, and with another spank of his ass, and pumpiing his cock in his spare hand, he flicked his tongue against Keith's entrance gently, then quickly. He applied small and large amounts of pressure, and kept shifting his focus. Keith had let Shiro's cock fall from his mouth, and was panting against his thigh. “Too...much...close.” He tried to pull away; let himself have some reprieve from the stimulation, but Shiro kept him still. He spanked him again, and Keith dropped his weight into Shiro's abdomen. He thrusted back into the licking and probing: especially the probing. He needed _more_.

 

Without warning, he stopped. He gently pulled Keith off him and placed him on the bed, he exhaled, and shuffled between Keith's legs, massaging his ass cheeks. “It'd be a lie to say I never thought about this.” He breathed, as he leaned down and nipped at the pale skin. Keith hissed and tensed, bucking his ass up. Shiro chuckled warmly as he let his hands trace along Keith's soft back. There were tiny scars, but nothing like his. He nipped as he went, leaving soft kisses and massaging his shoulder blades. “You're beautiful.” He murmured, as he ran his nails along the skin. He easily lifted Keith's hips and buried his face back in his ass, teasing Keith's hole again with the tip of his tongue in quick laps, before using the flat of it and taking his time. If Keith could melt further into the bed, he would. This felt better then when an alien massaged his hole with it's narrow tail. Shiro knew to change it up, and _fuck_ it felt good.

 

“Let...me.”  
“Later if you want to still. Gonna try my finger now. Relax, okay.”  
“Lube. In bag.” Keith gestured vaguely to his bag by the table. Shiro hummed and tapped his ass before pulling away. So much as he was curious why Keith carried lube, he couldn't judge what he'd done or not done. He settled back on the bed, Keith having flopped over onto his side and panting slowly, eyes heavy and a small trickle of saliva running down the side of his mouth into the sheets. Seemed Keith was enjoying himself. He opened the bottle and squeezed some lube onto his fingers, massaging it in, and rubbing the excess against Keith's tight hole. “Deep breath.” He teased lightly at first, running his finger between his cheeks and then teasing the hole, before pushing it slowly in.

 

Keith's cock felt like it was going to explode, but Shiro had stopped playing with him while he was busy. Keith tentatively reached a hand between his legs and stroked himself slowly, letting out a small sigh as Shiro pushed the finger in to the knuckle and kept it still. He heard a chuckle, but at this point Keith didn't care. He whined and moaned as he slowly rocked himself in time with Shiro's finger thrusts. He breath caught in his throat, and he hissed when Shiro fully removed his finger. “I'm putting in a second.”  
“Don't tell me what you're doing, you could put your fist in and I would be happy.”  
“Noted.” Shiro lubed up another two fingers, and reapplied lube to the first, before slowly teasing and pushing it, and another, back in. Keith swore and pushed himself back on the fingers hard. “You better fuck me soon.”  
“Patience yields focus.”  
“Fuck off.” Keith teased the tip of his cock, tightening his grip and giving small, curt strokes. He bit his lip as Shiro repositioned himself and finger-fucked his ass quicker.

 

Keith growled, he'd had it. He pulled himself off of Shiro's fingers and pounced on top of him, kissing him deeply and panting as he tried to not cum. Shiro raised an eyebrow, and Keith grabbed the lube. He dropped back onto the soles of his feet as he dripped the lube slowly onto Shiro's cock. He shuddered as the cold lube dribbled down his skin, but sucked in a breath when Keith rubbed it in with both hands, really taking his time around the head and then with long, slow strokes to the base. “If you like this now, wait 'til you feel my ass.” Keith smirked as he steadied himself on top of Shiro and slowly lowered himself down, teasing the tip of Shiro's cock against his hole. Shiro swore and went to grab at his hips, but Keith batted his hands away. He pushed the tip in slowly, and both moaned loudly as Keith pushed past the head. He paused and took a deep breath before pushing down until almost all of Shiro was inside him.

 

“K-Keith...it's tight.” Shiro bit his lip, throwing his head back as Keith got himself comfortable, the small movements pulsing pleasure through his body. Keith gripped Shiro's hips tightly, and with one agonisingly slow movement, pulled himself up Shiro's length, rolling his hips, and then slammed back down. Shiro moaned out, gripping the sheets as Keith rolled his hips. Slow, then forceful. He felt sharp nails dig deep into his skin, maybe breaking it, but what did he care? He arched his back and tried to push himself up, but Keith pushed his right side back down. “Stay.” He grinned between panting, some of his hair sticking to his forehead. He did, however, grab Shiro's right hand and run it up his stomach to his chest as he thrust himself down quicker. Shiro moaned, trying to push Keith forward with his knees, but this didn't work either. Using Shiro's knees, Keith pulled himself almost right off and gave him a kittenish smirk. Shiro gave a higher whine then what he expected and grabbed Keith's leg. “Don't...Keith, please.”  
“Are you going to be good?” Keith lowered himself down, Shiro cursing under his breath as he felt Keith tense purposefully. “Yeah. It feels so fucking good.” Shiro moved his hand to Keith's abdomen, and ran his fingers over the skin in small circles. Keith smiled, pushing his hair back, and ground down hard on Shiro's cock, earning throaty moans from both of them.

 

Keith's pace and stamina were intense. He'd stopped the slow movements and was bouncing roughly down on Shiro's cock, which was aching and sensitive. He'd been allowed to tug at Keith's cock, which was satisfying to see when he arched his back and his head lolled back as Shiro gave sharp pumps with an almost iron grip. Keith finally dropped forwards, pulling Shiro into a deep kiss; both completely drunk on pleasure at this point. Shiro was finally able to get a hold on Keith, and bringing his knees up and shifting his hips, he thrust deep into him. Keith let out a deep groan, letting himself drop fully onto Shiro's broad chest. He dug his nails into his shoulders as Shiro dug his fingers into his ass, spreading his cheeks apart as he bucked his hips and fucked Keith with a fierce vigour.

 

Every deep thrust made Keith make a heady moan in Shiro's ear, occasionally incomprehensible mumblings of “Shiro,” and, “harder,” came out between them. The moans spurred him onwards, but it also meant he was close. “I'm gonna...cum if I keep this up.”  
“Do it,” Keith's voice was too husky in his ear. Shiro bit his lip, before grabbing Keith by the hair with his Altean hand and brought him into a deep, long, kiss. With a last few hard and wild thrusts, Shiro moaned into Keith's mouth as he came deep and Keith clamped down around him. His hands moved to Keith's back and finally down into the sheets as he laid there, panting heavily while his nerves fired off pleasure into every cell in his body. He raised his hand slowly to cup Keith's face, stroking his cheek slowly with one hand. “That...was amazing.”  
Keith hummed as he stroked Shiro's face. “Yeah. You all tired?”  
“A bit, why?” Shiro cocked his head to the side as Keith gentled eased himself up. He exhaled as the tip of Shiro's semi-hard cock came out, before pushing Shiro's knees away so he could sit between them. Shiro peeked up, and coughed. “Are you?”

 

Keith smirked at Shiro and pulled the bottle of lube over. “I really want to make you feel good. Can I?” Shiro blinked and opened his mouth to answer. He covered his face with his hand and let out a soft chuckle. “You don't need to ask. But lemme,” he sat up slowly and took the bottle of lube from Keith's hand, and squeezed some out onto his fingers. He slowly moved to his knees and spread himself in front of Keith. He didn't use his human hand like he did on Keith, but with the Altean hand, he pushed two lubed fingers in right away. He could hear Keith's breathing hitch behind him, and Shiro focussed on listening to the small pants and watching Keith rub himself as he watched.

 

It didn't take long for Keith to crawl over to Shiro and plant kisses down his back, making small nips against the unscarred flesh and soft caresses over the scars. He ran his hands along his sides, feeling Shiro shiver under his touch. “I love you.” Keith murmured as he sat back and gently pulled Shiro's hand away so he could get to what he wanted. Shiro watched from the pillows his face was buried in as Keith lowered his ass down and slowly pushed his way in. Shiro let out a long groan as he pushed himself back as far as he could go, seeing stars as the sensitivity surged through him again. He braced the sheets as Keith slowly rocked back, then forward again at an agonisingly slow pace. Growling, Shiro forced himself back down the shaft and clenched his muscles, making Keith grip his hips tighter in response.

 

“Fuck me with everything you've got. Cum in my ass, back, face, whatever,” he hoped the challenge would work, and sure enough, Keith grabbed his flesh and smacked hard enough into him they both may come away with bruises. He moaned into the pillow to mask the sound as Keith hammered into him relentlessly. Everything was too sensitive, he had tears forming in his eyes over the build up of heat in his groin and ass, and gripped his cock and stroked at it intermittently as Keith grunted above him as one hand held his hip and the other was dug into his shoulder. He could feel the sweat dripping from Keith's hair on his back, not like his chest wasn't clammy either. His eyes rolled back as he let out a breathy moan, unsure if he could keep himself raised like this as Keith hit the sweet spot. He jolted a thrust back, trying to make sure that every thrust hit its mark, while Keith's panting became erratic. “I-I'm close,” he hissed as he pulled out to slam back in again, everything starting to blur together as he felt his cock twitch and pulse in Shiro's hot ass. Shiro could only moan back a response and move his hips to help him in response, and with a few more strokes, Keith came hard inside Shiro. He bit his lip hard and dragged his nails across the soft skin beneath him, leaving red trails in their wake. He pulled out quicker and flopped back onto the bed. He felt Shiro's weight collapse in front of him and a few seconds later, a somewhat squashed pillow landed next to him. Slowly, Shiro's weight crept closer and an arm rested over his stomach.

 

“You're amazing.” Shiro mumbled into Keith's ear as he cuddled into him.  
“We really need a shower.” He'd managed to not think about the cum running between his legs but now he was relaxed, he was hyper-aware of the warmth between his ass cheeks and what ran down his thighs. “Way to ruin the mood,” Shiro chuckled as he stroked Keith's stomach. They lay there in the sweaty, cum-stained sheets listening to each others breathing; Shiro mindlessly running his hand over Keith's soft skin, while Keith smoothed the back of Shiro's neck.

 

“Keith?”  
“Yeah, Shiro?”  
“You can call me Takashi from now on,” Shiro slowly raised Keith's chin with his finger so their eyes locked. “I love you.”

 


End file.
